PODS BLOG 2005/06
3rd
EPISODE
I’ve always been a big fan of the nom de plume and recently got a new one. Big Air 270. (The Nom de plume "Big Air 270" is actually "Big Hair 270" after Pods dubious Passport photo Leo Sayer lookalike. - a repost from Ian Vinall)
You’ve guessed it, Pod took to the slopes, on
knees, back, arse, head but latterly mainly on skis for a
week
in the wonderful
Alpe
d’Huez in France. A few hours at
Xscape sorted out the ski legs and off we went. A fearsome foursome
took the gamble of flying Jet2 (more
of that later) and letting Viners drive the hire car up (and down) those
21 hairpin bends, but that’s what holidays are all about.
Much of the first day was spent in the style of
Bambi on ice, and then nursing bruises on the wind ravaged Saturday as
the pistes were closed for the day due to the wind problems that
blighted the week. Granted, these latter
problems were confined to the apartment, but nonetheless none too
pleasant. That day off gave us time to create some rules for the week,
and the inaugural ‘Bitch Du Jour’ title went to the ineptitude of
Vinall. Not a bad skier he may be but put 13 playing cards in his hands
and he’s a wreck. With his defeat up-most in his mind he took offence at
some holidaymakers in an O’Sharkeys Irish bar and rechristened it
O’Pikeys, for all to hear.
With
the wind blowing all the recent snow away, conditions deteriorated
slowly as the week progressed, but there were always a couple of decent
new runs to try out. A mixture of high and low points for us all as Rob
got stuck in a creek, whilst doing a bit of Off-Pisteing and the
Norweigian whaling fleet had to be warned off for 20 minutes before his
self righting mechanism kicked in and he was floated to safety. Rob also
gave a comedy performance down a mogul filled red run, as he struggled
at the top and completed a comedy fall. Numerous more ensued until half
way down he lost all composure and both skis and completed the task on
his back. Fortunately Ian was there to mop up behind him and showed
terrific smart-arse potential waltzing down with a ski in his arms.
Liam embraced his Bitch Du Jour title with a
passion adopting the
Stanislavski System. He method acted his way through the
entire day, skied like a girl throughout, winged, moaned, got tired,
took on the persona of Emily Bishop at night by ordering a sweet sherry,
but bravely never cried.
Now I am well aware I repeatedly have a go at
Viners, but he just leaves himself open to abuse. I mean, admitting to
nipping for a sit down wee, is just an invitation to ridicule. Getting
hammered
5-0 at pool, but still talking a good game, does one no favours.
Whittering on about Pod breaking his £300 glasses during a bit of a
friendly tussle, and then dropping them on the floor as he straightened
them, quality. But losing at cards for the third time enabling him to
keep the Bitch Du Jour trophy for life, was the icing on the cake, and
the ensuing paddy a pleasure to view.
Granted Pod had his moments. Falling off a button
half way up the slope is always a bit embarrassing.
Taking a sharp right when getting of a chair and nearly wiping all four
of us out, not a great idea. And losing your lift pass, not
recommended, although if you’re going to do it you might as well do it
on the last afternoon and it did give us plenty of sco
pe
for fun, trying to hop on the lifts without been seen.
So with the week over it was just left to fly home. Ahhhh. Jet2 decided to cancel our flight. We’d checked in, got breakfast in the airport and were counting the minutes to departure when the announcement came. So we hatched a plan B. A bus to Chambery station. Then shared a taxi (£100) to Geneva airport with a couple of Middlesbrough smack heads. They were flying back to Doncaster that night, but we hadn’t thought of that. We had a night on the beer, and an overnight in a city centre hotel (£50), woken early by the binmen in the street below. Back to the airport for a Jet2 (another £110 gamble) flight home. So arrived just 24 hours later and around £220 down. Hope the insurance covers some of it.
Podstradamus
With the weather bitterly cold outside and the golf courses frozen over Pod has spent the time gazing into his (Yorkshire) tea-leaves to see what the future holds for the clubs of the Aire-Wharfe league. It’s not all going to be sweetness and light, there are uncomfortable times for many clubs up ahead. I’d even like to be proved wrong on a couple of my predictions but the leaves seldom lie.
Adel
With the clubs best years merely a fading memory, A Division status could well slip away from one or both of the teams without the incursion of fresh blood. That is unlikely to happen, and everyone else will enjoy their slide into anonymity.
Bilton
Notwithstanding allegations of money laundering, Bilton will continue to dominate Aire-Wharfe cricket well into the future. The league title, and Waddilove and Birtwhistle cups will all end up in Harrogate this year, before they get too big for their boots and sod off to a higher league.
Burley-In-Wharfedale
Internal wrangling, family feuds and petty back-biting are what makes village cricket tick and Burley will continue to be a perfect microcosm of the wider cricketing world in 2006. Players leaving, then coming back, then leaving again will be the future of this cricketing backwater for the foreseeable future. On the field, expect lots of sledging, arguing and a couple of decent punch-ups, and the opposition may get involved too.
Follifoot
This year will see a resurgence of Follifoot as a club, rather than merely a 1st XI, as an influx of talent from the surrounding area strengthen the teams. Promotion for the 2’s and another successful campaign for the 1’s, see the club take the Burmah Oil trophy. Despite the on-field success, the bar continues to be one of the worst in the Aire-Wharfe and heavy drinkers, (or any drinkers, come to that) should be cordially invited to BYO.
Green Lane
The club will rent out part of the clubhouse for airport storage, and fritter the money away on a couple of sub-standard Bradford League ‘here-today-gone-tomorrow’ Johnnies-come-lately. Fines aplenty for the 2nd XI as over-rates reach an all time low, with the ECB basing test match rates on those attainable at The Lane. The club has a record number of qualifiers for the league averages as all batters aggregates are rounded up to 403 runs and bowlers all take 41 wickets. Unbelievable I know, but if I hadn’t have seen it with my own eyes I’d have doubted it too.
Kirkstall Education
In 2006 Kirkstall will be the first team in the Aire-Wharfe to contain eleven cricketers who all have ASBOs. Nevertheless, a serious assault on the title will ensue, followed by a couple of serious assaults on a visiting captain and an umpire, as defeat means the ultimate prize goes to Bilton again.
North Leeds
Ah, The Homestead. Makes it sound inviting doesn’t it? Wrong. NLCC will win the worst teas award for the fourth consecutive year. It’s not all bad news though as three student nurses will move into one of the houses at the road end, and enjoy scantily clad afternoons in their garden, as the long hot summer continues to scorch everyone and everything. Retrieving the ball will now be something of a pleasure, additionally heightened somewhat by the death of the big dog in the house at the top of the square.
Otley
No change at Otley in 2006 as mid-table mediocrity continues. Offers to buy a section of the ground to extend the graveyard will be rejected by the club following a close vote. Cross Green will continue to be a prime location for starting a players ‘bonding evening’, due to the sale of ‘large Buds’, and the plethora of fine drinking establishments in the locale.
Pool
Work on the new clubhouse will continue throughout the season, making the outfield treacherous as fielders dodge stacks of breezeblocks and builders rubble. The new, smaller, changing rooms will now be a four-shift affair. On the field the lack of a quality overseas player shall not help matters and a swift return to the B Division will ensue.
Rawdon
The slow, low wicket will change this year and become even slower and lower. Despite still being with no recognised spinner, the aging 1st XI will somehow finish in the top half of the table. A good cup run is overdue, but 2010 will have been and gone before a cup final appearance returns. 2nd XI vice captain will announce he is not gay in the local press.
Steeton
A club going places in 2006. Promotion last year will be the launch pad for a serious assault on the A Division title, that will ultimately falter at the seasons close. The 2nd XI will again win their title, with as much ease as last term, as long as their up and coming juniors continue to have little ambition in going on to 1st XI cricket. The extravagant teas will once more be the ideal pick-me-up for all rotund bowlers who have suffered on the batsman’s dream of a wicket. A lengthy bowling ban for one young spinner, whose grip is reported to Lourdes. The MCC declare his six fingers and two thumbs grasp on the ball, illegal. A sponsorship and advertising deal from Kookaburra, who’s new batting glove “The Alice Spring” placates the youngster somewhat.
Tong Park
Trouble at Low Springs this year as a plague of locusts descend on the ground attracted by the plague of midges that have blighted summer evenings here since time began. Picturesque it may be, but nothing makes up for four days of discomfort due to being bitten to death by the little bleeders. On a positive note, they’ll go down to the B Division this year and never return.
Bardsey
Delighted at pushing through their suggestions of a 1.30 start for all league games, ensures their captain and standard bearer can still play and be home in time to conform to his curfew order. However the teams will not feature highly in their respective divisions and continue to be happy to make up the numbers
Beckwithshaw
Pod’s never been a fan of Beckwithshaw, and the A division is better without them. However, they’ll be back in 2007 after hanging on to Hall Parks coat tails at the top of the league. Snow showers in August will not deter them. Their league delegate is somewhat flummoxed as his ‘start-time’ proposal is rejected by the member clubs. He felt a 1.00 p.m. start time for home games and a 1.30 p.m. start for away games would help all clubs, giving ample travel time for the visitors. The proposal will be repeatedly tabled until it is accepted.
.Calverley
A club seeming on the up and up over the last 5 years will have an abrupt change of fortunes in 2006, as players realise they are indeed playing in “dog-shit park” and adjust their performances accordingly. The arrival of a group of West Indians to the team will do little to remedy the problem, as they all prefer to sit in the sun trap in front of the pavilion rather than expend energy out in the middle.
Collingham
Troublesome times ahead for the Collingham groundsman as a ridge develops on his beloved square. Once a bowlers graveyard, 2006 will see a swift about turn as 132 will be the seasons best score. Most weeks, a score in the 90’s will be sufficient to take all 6 points. With the track being somewhat of a lottery the team will finish mid table having no drawn games. Played 22, won 11, lost 11.
Guiseley
A much needed influx of players, mainly from Thackley, increase numbers but does not improve the talent pool at Guiseley as the youngsters, who have shown so much promise recently, are once again overlooked in favour of unproven newcomers. These young guns will give it half a season before becoming disillusioned and packing the game in. Three pushy parents will disrupt the opening cup game by camping on the outfield, as a protest against the selection policy. Police will be called to reason with them and ultimately join the demonstration. These happenings will be covered by Look North but strangely overlooked by the Airedale & Wharfedale Observer.
Horsforth
A new improved and bigger ground for this season. Unfortunately it’ll be the same old faces on the pitch. The unbeaten 2nd XI from last year will find it a struggle in the higher division until an old boy returns from the wilderness to revitalise the club, bringing fresh blood, new ideas and mid table security.
Horsforth Hall Park
It sounds unlikely I know, but promotion for the lads from Hall Park is a certainty. Following a number of umpiring defections to other (better paid) leagues, the shortage will play right into their hands, as not one LBW will be given against them all season. Safe in this knowledge, the cross bat method will continue to be adopted and reap its rewards. Promoted by July, champions by August.
Olicanians
Another club going places in 2005, see their advances stall in 2006. The pavilion, lets face it, a glorified garden shed, will wilt and warp in the tropical heat, and in due course, collapse. Two members will donate a Wendy house each, one for changing, one for teas, to enable matches to continue to be played. The Waddilove cup final will still be hosted, following the rental of a marquee, but will be washed out by a tornado. The rescheduled match, is decided on a bowl out, in the said marquee. Bilton being the victors.
Silsden
Pod doesn’t want to start any alarm bells ringing, but football takes over at Silsden in 2006, with the whole ground being taken over by new pitches. One does not want to predict the sad demise of a sad club, but ….this is it.
Thackley
The Bradford League-like approach the club has taken over the past few years will backfire as a wholesale exodus from the playing staff leaves the club working with a severe lack of numbers. Advertisements in the T & A and Exchange and Mart prove fruitless, as it would appear that every other money grabbing cricketer is fixed up. June signing of Paul Hepworth does little to alleviate problems and he subsequently leaves after 3 games.
Upper Wharfedale
The heady heights of B Division cricket will be a one season affair as the only cricketer with any imagination or natural flair, ever to grace Grassington, has gone home to Oz never to return. Last years’ supporting cast will find things much more difficult with no one to bully attacks into submission or do the hard graft with the ball. On the positive side, it’ll be a good year for wheat crops and the price of locally produced lamb will go through the roof.
Log on again before the season starts to see the fortunes of the Division 3 clubs, plus the final league tables for 2006.
December 28th 2005
Umpire Strikes Back
Well it was no great surprise was it that the dummy was going to be thrown out of the pram following the requested inflation busting (i.e. obscene) rise that was requested, being (albeit) closely rejected by clubs. Now I did think we lived in a democratic society and we should go along with the feelings of the majority (for the most part), but the men in white coats are not taking this lying down. No, they’re squirming and wriggling and walking away in a strop, to make sure they get what they want. One umpire I’ve discussed this with stated, “It’s you bowlers who’ll miss out, if you umpire yourselves there’ll be no LBW’s”. No change for me there then. Don’t know what I’ve done or said but it was in the 1990’s when I got my last favourable decision from an ice cream seller, so it can’t get any worse, can it?
Sunday 11th December 2005
A few of the eagle eyed amongst my readership, will have spotted the few rule changes that got voted through, for adoption in the 2006 season. Naturally, the 1.30 start for the bulk of the games (i.e. not the first or last four) got plenty of support amongst the heavy drinking fraternities and breezed it. One ponders why else this was accepted as in 25 years of senior cricket, I can count the number of times bad light has disrupted a game on the thumbs of one hand. (For me that’s 1. Granted in Steeton it could be 2 or 3) That occasion was a rain affected cup quarter-final, and after much hanging around and mopping up, play started late in the afternoon. Our guests batted first and cobbled together in excess of 170 runs and the resurging Rawdon side expected to knock ‘em off and take their place in the semi-final. We did not however account for our friend the Umpire who wanted to get the game finished that night. With the moon out and the call of owls heard around the ground, wickets tumbled before Pod strode to the crease, with the game out of reach. An appeal to the umpire brought a close of play, and a resumption the following evening. Follifoot wrapped up the game in quick time and another free shirt for a final appearance escaped yours truly.
Thus it is with some glee that Pod noticed that the change that was not accepted by the clubs was that of the exorbitant rise in fees that the old ‘white coats’ were demanding. Now, I for one, think £18 and a free tea is a realistic amount to pay a guy for spoiling your afternoon’s leisure. Asking for a £7 rise was just taking the piss. Let’s not be too unfair, they get around 80% of their decisions correct. But I am including them calling “Over” after six deliveries in that statistic. So, undoubtedly we will see an exodus to the Bradford League, for the money grabbers amongst that contingent. I hesitate to use the term ‘prostitutes’, as I once mentioned it before and almost didn’t get away with it. It will however be reassuring to know that the guys who remain standing in the Aire-Wharfe will be doing it for the love of cricket and the league, i.e. all the right reasons, and will retain my respect. Those who go, will indisputably be the ones who we will be happy to see the back of and who’s integrity could be questioned anyway.
Finally, the future rain affected cup games will be a lot less fun, though fairer, with the advent of the ‘run-rate’ rule. How good was it to be able to knock 8 runs off in 5 overs with all your wickets in the tent, to get through to the next round after the opposition had started steadily but amassed an accomplished 200+ in their 45 overs?
Sadly a thing of the past, but perhaps, one reflects, a move in the right direction.
League Dinner
Unfortunately Pod could not grace the League Dinner with his presence this year as he was jetting off to Amsterdam the next afternoon. Hardly a reasonable excuse I know, but there was supposed to be a flight to New York straight after (not 24 hours later and after a night in Novotel Amsterdam). A one hour delay at Leeds/Bradford really buggered up the start of our break.
Anyway, it would have been nice to congratulate Hingsy on his bowling prize for the 3rd Div 2nd teams. How the mighty have fallen! It doesn’t seem long ago he was keeping Pod out of the 1’s at Rawdon. Or was it that Pod’s face just didn’t fit? We’ll not dwell on that point.
Naturally all the talk was of the expulsion of Bardsey from the league. A suspended sentence hanging over them from the ‘was he wasn’t he’ overseas star of 2003, and further indiscretions this term left the league with no other option. Rumour control hears that the bulk of their talent will transfer to Collingham, with whom they have had a long time allegiance. Expect a strengthened side with a ‘bit of an edge’ at that batters dream in 2006.
Flights
Just a short rant following Pods return from JFK. As a finely tuned athlete DVT is not a major worry but it is nice to stretch ones legs now and again in an 8 hour sit down. So just a little thank you to the Dutch guy who had a seat at the emergency exit, with all the room in the world to spread out, but still found the need to grab that extra few inches by slapping his recliner back. The domino effect reached Pod, four rows further back, stopping me from watching anything on the TV screen. Pod adopted a ‘Holier Than Thou’ attitude and refused to recline himself. Actually the seat wouldn’t go back but that’s by the bye.
And while I’m on it, Amsterdam to LBA is a 40 minute flight. Why does anyone feel the need to pay more for Business Class? To sit in the same size seats, albeit in front of a little curtain, and get a free newspaper (Dutch)? Perhaps it’s merely to be waited on by the worlds gayest steward who surely would have been just as happy wearing leather chaps and a butt plug as mincing up and down the plane in his polyester KLM uniform.
Rawdon Records
Belly has been on a quest to prove he’s the best batter ever to grace Rawdon 2nd (was there ever any doubt? - ed) The final results can be found on the Rawdon web site, with David way out in front with 7500 runs. Most of those were over the top of the infield on the leg side. I think ‘cow-corner’ is the polite name for the position. Nevertheless that’s a fair total and it would be interesting to know if this total has been surpassed elsewhere in the league. Pod lies in 2nd in the wicket takers list, but it’s only a matter of time before Malc has his nose pushed out. One wonders how these two never made a bigger impact at 1st XI level. David did score 2500 runs in the 1’s in his smaller days but Pod’s 3 wickets (15 overs) at the higher level does raise a few eyebrows.
I better just add that despite the fact the 2006 season will see Pod send down his 3000th over for Rawdon, surely if the ball hadn’t been so regularly throw to the support bowlers in 2003-4, we’d all have another league title under our belts and 535 wickets would already be in the bag.
Golf
With
the cricket season finished, golf and especially Scotland called.
Powfoot G.C
and
Southerness G.C hosted us, and tremendous they were too. Wild, windy
and untameable. And the courses were no easier that the Scottish women.
Seriously, Dumfries on a Sunday night is no place for the faint hearted,
but we rose to the challenge and almost all returned to our digs in a
reasonable state. Viners played out of his skin on the first round but
barely saw a fairway on the following three. Allan Hall, miffed at
having to play off 21, played the old mans game to perfection, before
the Southerness breeze caused havoc. Unsurprisingly it was Pod who
played the most consistent golf of the four rounds, shooting in the 80’s
each time. Not bad off a 18 handicap. For the record the lost ball count
on the second day was Pod –1, Liam – 6, Allan – 12, Viners – To
embarrassed to say (but did finish off
playing
with Penfold Commandos).
Saturday 30th September 2005
On sale now from the usual suspects
Monday 26th September 2005
My previous entry touched on the subject of the Jesters end of season averages, but naturally of more importance to the Saturday cricketers amongst us, are the League statistics.
It is a massive challenge for the bowlers to get their 35 or 40 wickets merely to qualify, and a bonus if they manage to be up there in the table. Imagine the disappointment to be left stranded one wicket, or even worse for a batter, one run short of qualification. What a nightmare, after all the toil and sweat of a long and arduous season.
With many of the last weekends fixtures being abandoned due to the poor weather and general apathy, I heard of two such cricketers who befell such a fate. So, with the averages appearing on the Aire-Wharfe website, there was much amusement to find that the batter in question had found another 6 runs, just taking him over the line, and the bowler got accredited another wicket from somewhere to close the season right on the mark.
Not that I am suggesting any underhand tomfoolery from the clubs involved. No way. I have always said a good scorer should win you a couple of games a season, but a good secretary getting your name in next seasons handbook. Preposterous.
Saturday 24th September 2005
With the season closing after last week, now is the time for all serious crickets to reflect on the summer past. To relive the highlight, regret the lowlights and for just one more time laugh at Belly’s dropped catches.
In order to continue ones enjoyment of this beautiful game it is essential to improve year on year and one of the ways of evaluating this improvement is by dissecting the averages. Naturally the first point to examine is commitment. There’s many a Jester in need of being committed, and turning out in less than half the fixtures is laughable, cup runs notwithstanding.
The nice thing about the Jesters averages is Belly counts everyone as equal. Personally I would have an ‘also batted’ column for those with freak averages coming from only two knocks but….
So, Heppy just gets pipped for the batting prize by Nelly with an average of 39 and a bit.
Wickets were hard to come by in 2005, with an amazing 16 Jesters taking at least one but Scotty again topping the charts with 17. Everyone at every ground knows they have only themselves to blame for getting out to Scotty, so he can (and is) left to bowl indefinitely week upon week.
As for the catching stats. “There are lies, damn lies…..etc.” Disraeli*
But yearly averages pale into insignificance when added to the annals, lovingly and laboriously updated by our skipper.
In 1994 on a young Pod’s first tour Coco had badges made for each of us.
Carl Bulfin – There’s only one F in Bulfin
Jimmy Bastow – Bat today score runs tomorrow
Belly – Better catcher than Scotty
Scotty – Better catcher than Belly
Pod – Genuine Allrounder.
Now, 11 years later the annals tell the story that we have always know to be fact, as Pods batting average has finally edged passed his bowling average. Mission accomplished and time to hang up ones boots and put the box in the loft. Not bloody likely, as this ‘batter who bowls a bit’ looks forward to another 11 years of Jestering.
Yours in sport,
Pod
*Actual quote ( “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics”) and surely inspired by the Jesters saying “There are three kinds of turd: mustard, custard and you, you little shit”
Wednesday 14th September 2005
With the cricket season all but finished, it’s down
to the golf course to give some time in the fresh air and wonderful
views and Silsden Golf Club
certainly does both. Sure enough it’s short, and built on the side of a
hill, but if we chose to live in West Yorkshire this is what we come to
expect. If you want if flat, go to York. Anyway, The Swing Gate G.S. had
a day out at Silsden. A scramble in the morning
with
Pod carrying Barrie and Trevor round. Okay, we took all Barrie’s drives
but Trevor and myself then took over and we breezed into 4th
place (out of 4). It was close, 37 (4 under par) shots for 11 holes
winning the wine.
After a leisurely lunch, we wandered out again. The ‘Reynard curse’ befell Barrie and Stuart so the winner was guaranteed to come from elsewhere. Pedders and Mushy had both been (harshly) pulled shots for their last weeks performances (43pts) and sulked their way round in the afternoon, Pedders further handicapped by being drawn in the ‘Group of Death’.
The winner ultimately came, all the way from South Yorkshire and apparently on one leg, from the second group out, with Biffa Brown taking the honours. 40 points was comfortable enough as most faltered on the latter holes through exhaustion, boredom, or losing the will to live. It was tight for second, Keith, Mick C and Andy Keighley all on 38 and Andy missing out on the money.
Two’s aplenty with all those short holes, £64 being split three ways with Pod himself not joining in by missing a 4ft putt for a share. Numpty.
Bingley St Ives is the traditional seasons closing venue, this year on October 13th. Looks like Pod, Viners and Biffa are in Wee Chilly Jocko Land then so we’ll miss out on that, but so be it. With busy calenders you have to make sacrifices.
Finally a mention to the welcome we received at Silsden. 2nd to none. Everyone at the place was terrific. Nothing was too much trouble, it was very relaxed and we all enjoyed it immensely. Thanks.
Sunday September 11th 2005
Jesters game at Norwood Green is called off early doors, so it’s the start of the footy season for Pod.
5-a-side down at Kirkstall and a chance to kick a few young pups. New rules introduced for this season include the “Blue Card” which means a 4 minute spell in the sin bin. Quel surprise as the ref has a word with me just into the second half and threatens me with a sit down for one more step out of line. So Pod is substituted and we eventually lose 2-0. To be fair, both goals were conceded while I was on the pitch, so it’s not as if my departure had much of an influence on the result.
Pod, Viners and Hughsey are back to the Trough for
a post match beer and discussions about the 2006
season.
Last night the subject of Windy’s role as vice skipper cropped up. A
suggestion was made that he is replaced by a sock on Viners’ left hand,
that he can discuss tactics with, and will join in the team talk. But it
was decided this wouldn’t be a significant change from 2005 and passed
over.
A few names were thrown into the conversation a s we chewed the fat on where the club is going. Should the vice captain be a captain of the future or an old head with knowledge to impart on the younger players? Should he be a intermediary between the skipper and the rest of the team or do the captains dirty work and be happy to upset people and “tell it like it is”?
So we cast some names aside, and I think we reached a conclusion as who Viners should ask to be his right hand man next season. And then the bombshell. One of us asked the question.
Is the 2nd XI vice captain for 2006 gay?
Saturday September 10th 2005
Adel 2nd XI v.
Rawdon 2nd XI
The eleven men of Rawdon and the Adel skipper
Richard Ewen tried manfully to mop up the wicket and square and get a
game of cricket in. But ultimately to no avail as the umpire and some of
the home
players wanted to go to watch rugby at Otley. So it was a frustrating
finish to the season as Bilton 2nds completed their game and took the
runners up spot in the league.
Pod found action to watch at Horsforth, as Hingsy was bowling. Getting cut for 6 in his first over shows things just don’t change. He’s still enjoying his cricket and it was nice to have a chat with an old team mate and new ball partner.
Then onto Hall Park and the debacle that is Menston CC. I recall Rawdon 2nd team being reported to the league for bringing the game into disrepute, as we grafted for a point at Knaresbororugh, a point that ultimately ensured A division status. What I witnessed on Saturday was a disgrace. With much at stake for Ilkley and Hall Park, this game should have been important. Watching Menston roll over belittles the Aire Wharfe league.
Firstly their batting order was picked out of a hat, and this decided the bowling order too. Ted Lester batting No.11 and opening the bowling. Then each batter was given a nominated shot to play within their first three balls. When wickets fall to “reverse sweeps” and “shoulder arms” for golden ducks, the umpires surely have to take some action.
Worse was to follow in the reply as a ball hit high in the air to a fielder was allowed to fall to earth, with no attempt at a catch as Hall Park breezed to victory assigning Ilkley to relegation.
Not the way cricket should be played in this league, and I for one hope Menston are taken to task for their behaviour.
Follifoot 2nd XI 170 All Out Rawdon 2nd XI 171-7
After many years of tight battles, Rawdon consigned
the visitors to division B cricket next year. In order to give their
youngsters an opportunity, Clarke elected to bat first. Their old heads
then batted 32 overs together, at a snails pace. At the fall of the 3rd
wicket, we saw the first young lad, the magnificently named S. Jewsnip
(I’m sure they were pulling Matty’s leg with that one). One ball later,
Ewen is
striding
to the crease to return some normality to the average age at the wicket.
Together with Bailey (72), these two bat until the 46th over
taking the score to 159. Another wicket brings junior no. 2 out (and
back again), lasting one ball more than his classmate. Junior no. 3
lasts a couple of balls too and the final one goes for a golden. Things
don’t look too great for the future of Follifoot 2nd XI. On
the bright side Wilky and Parky pick up a few cheap wickets apiece. Weff
has a bit of a mare in the field, dropping Bailey in his teens and then
managing 12 overthrows. Quality. A hungover (what’s new) Vinall skippers
the team in the style of Marcel Marceaux, and loses 20p to Pod.
A watchful Windy scored a valuable 44 helped along
by Chappy and Waity who keep him company fo
r
a while. Wilky was lucky to be still there after his first ball looked
plum, but went two balls later. Weff (34) and Charlie (25*) saw us to
near victory adding 50 together as the Follifoot attack turned to the
youngsters. Victory came in the 45th over, as Rawdon retain
hopes of finishing 2nd in the league.
Yet another insipid end of season game, largely due to the total lack of ambition from the visitors.
Rawdon 2nd
XI 202 All Out
Kikstall Education 184 All Out
The last four games are back to a 1 o’clock start
and there’s a definite end of season feel about the cricket with the
title now out of our grasp. Viners is hung over (again) and busy
buttering bread and
sorting the teas out. Windy is left to run the show, filling in the
sheets and organising who wants what at tea time. Viners makes a late
appearance to go toss up, and we get invited to have a bat. Ten names
are thrown up in the air and as they fall we have a batting order. Or
that is how it would appear. Dave Wilky and Haighy are the ones to miss
out, down at 6 and 7, but the top order give them a chance by getting in
and getting out when they should have been going on. Liam Mulligan got
Windy twice, and bowled with good pace, but has the stamina of a
whippet, and grazes in the outfield for much of the afternoon.
Chappy
top scored with a classy 49, shots all round the ground, utilising
front, back and both edges of his bat. Terrific to watch. Just about
everyone chips in with twenty or so, but 202 is a disappointment to the
skipper (who had bid higher than 214, another 20p to Pod then). Giving
them two overs is criminal, and cost us dear at their place. Lightning,
and all that.
Skipper Caddy goes early to Parky but left hander Lindley looks a good prospect, playing straight, but at the moment lacking power to his strokeplay. Wickets fall at regular intervals but the 4 an over is maintained to keep the Eddies in the hunt. Nelly bowls a top spell to dismiss the middle order single handedly, with Pod snaffling sharp chances at slip and then gully. (Catches 2 and 3 for the season, where has Viners been hiding me?) Just two wickets required into the last ten overs and it should be a breeze. Mellett bowled by Pod and Hodgy and small boy have to bat for the draw. With Dave trying to farm the strike, he eases one down to fine leg from the last ball of the over, and walks the single. Nelly stands still at fine leg and watches the ball go over the boundary a foot from him. Is this in the spirit of the game? Not when it’s my figures getting ruined. Nevertheless Waity bowls small boy in the next over and the 6 points are ours with 2.3 overs to go.
The Eddies are a decent bunch of lads and fit into this division well. They don’t take it too serious like some teams but play hard, and to win. One can’t ask for more than that.
Green Lane 2nd XI 2-0 1.1 Overs R.S.P
Rawdon 2nd XI
Green Lane must have been overjoyed with the point after staring down the barrel of a big defeat, before rain interrupted the game with visitors Rawdon on the verge of taking a deserved 6 points.
Okay,
we got in just 8 balls, including a wide from Charlie before we scuttled
back to the pavilion.
After hanging round until 3.20 p.m. or so, and with the weather looking set in Ian and Ian called a halt to the afternoons waiting time. Naturally, by the time we’d changed and were having a beer, the sun had broken through and the remainder of the afternoon was a cracker. Bugger!
Saturday 6th August 2005
Rawdon
2nd XI 240-5
Pool 2nd XI 171 All Out
There were a few things worthy of mentioning in this game, which for the most part was played in good spirits and had something of a Sunday friendly feel to it.
Sorry to start at the end but…. The final wicket of the game saw Rupert Whyhard (Rhyhard, Whyard….how do you spell it?) bowled by Pod. Nothing strange there you may say, but the ball passed between middle and leg stump, and the off bail fell off. Act of God, or just one of those weird things?
Anyway the rest of the game. Westy batted like he hasn’t batted before at Rawdon to reach 87. 98 balls for his fifty, 21 for the next 37. The rest of the guys at the top of the order couldn’t be bothered staying there and grafting but Waity knows his sort of track when he sees one and relished the challenge. A 136 run partnership was finally finished with both batters back in the hutch within two balls, and Bolton with a 2 in the wickets column to go with the 118 in the runs column. Weff and Charlie made hay before tea adding 42 in the last 4 overs. Second point worthy of mention. The 20p challenge saw Viners bid 241 for the final score when we were at 145-3 after 38 overs. A long shot and obviously a ‘lower’ call from Pod. Viners was looking to double his money as we went into the last over but with both batters trying to farm the strike only nine runs came and Pod took the dosh, much to Viners’ chagrin.
For som
e
unknown reason most of the Rawdon bowlers bowled plenty of four balls
after tea and even though wickets were falling, Pool were always in the
game. Chris Wilky, following a good bowling spell, hit some lusty
(though not classical) blows on his way to 37, and Rupert ??? looked to
have time aplenty in notching 43. Dave Wilky and Charlie got two wickets
apiece, but third ‘must mention’ goes to Parky.
Here he comes, running in from the Emmotts end with a large sign above his head and a bi-plane in the sky behind him pulling a worded message, which both read ”SLOWER BALL – SLOWER BALL.” Nevertheless, Dicky Bolton was bewildered and perplexed by this unexpected and well disguised change of pace and lobbed it back to the Silver Fox. Yet another first at Rawdon this year.
Final mention goes to a conversation between Pod and the Ump. This is the same guy I had words with at Kirkstall so was well prepared for some rubbish, but it went like this.
Pod – (Bowls to Tweedie, and hits pad) “HOOOOOW ISSSSS HEEEE?”
None striking batter – “There’s one there, come on.”
Run is completed.
Ump – “Dead ball, no shot played. Go back.”
Pod – Looks quizzically at umpire.
Ump – “I thought that’d bowled him.”
Pod - Assumes double teapot and tries to shake his head off.
How we laughed!!
Until next week. Yours In Sport Pod
Saturday 30th July 2005.
Rawdon
2nd XI 226-8
Steeton 2nd XI 228-3
There were one or two brighteners to what was a fairly dismal afternoon, and performance for Rawdon 2s. With Viners at yet another wedding Nervous Nerys had hold of the reigns again. So we’re asked to bat on a damp ‘un. No worries all the batters are available. ‘Cept Bodey, where’s Bodey? No sign, we’ll ring him, no ones got his number. Skipper’s in church, phone turned off. It’s going like clockwork again. We play with ten then. Waity and Wilky both bat well and all the young lads, Chappy, Tom and Rhino, get into the 20’s. 226 is more than we could have hoped for. The spell from Barrett is the first highlight of the day. With his whites at half mast, presumably in honour of the London bombing victims, he bowls wide after wide from a shortened run. Second over he decides to go back to what he knows best. That’ll be wide after wide from a longer run then. In his favour, he did take another couple of good catches that will surely keep him in the side for as long as he wants.
Steeton teas are terrific, but there should be a smaller plate option for opening bowlers. You just cannot eat £3.00 worth of food before a lengthy spell, as Pod found out.
Pantanker was sent on his way with Albert Riddle taking a good catch at fine leg, but henceforth it was all down hill. Ollie Gledhill, looking like he’d been named after Stan Laurel’s partner, and having cleared up the left-overs from that fine spread, slapped us to all corners. Thankfully he got hunger pangs in his 90’s and went for seconds. Proctor, saw the home side to victory with a classy 88* and looks to be a genuine prospect. Pod finished the game bowling slower stuff in tandem with Waity. It’s the future, especially with £3.00 a-plate to get through.
CLICK ON PODS HEAD TO READ HIS JUNE/JULY RUBBISH.
